It's All Your Fault at Work

It's All Your Fault at Work


Managing Narcissists and Other High-Conflict People

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2015 Axiom Business Books Award Winner! Bronze Medal: Human Resources Category

The award-winning book that gives readers a method for handling the increasingly-outrageous behavior of narcissists and high-conflict people at work.

No, it’s not just your imagination—more and more people in the workplace today have high-conflict personalities. Co-workers, clients, even bosses are behaving in narcissistic or bullying ways, choosing targets and then placing blame on them, treating them with disdain, or otherwise acting in aggressive, inappropriate ways. Some go so far as to spread damaging rumors, harass, or directly sabotage their targets, among other extreme behaviors. These are not people who are just having an occasional bad day; these are people who display a repeated pattern of high-conflict behavior. And they aren’t just difficult; they are the most difficult of people. Some have true personality disorders, while others have only some traits of these disorders. Either way, they can make your life at work stressful, frustrating, and extremely challenging.

“This book belongs in every leader’s library. Although I believe there’s a pearl of good in everyone, some people’s pearl is hard to find. You may not be able to change a high conflict personality, but by using Bill Eddy’s and Georgi DiStefano’s techniques, you’ll be able to keep the focus on solutions rather than arguments.”

—Ken Blanchard, coauthor of The One Minute Manager® and Leading at a Higher Level

The good news is that their behavior is not about you—it’s about them. What’s more, you can learn strategies and techniques to deal with them more effectively at work. Based on Bill Eddy’s high-conflict personality theory, he and co-author, L. Georgi DiStefano, expertly define the problem so you can recognize potential high-conflict people (HCPs) in your own work life. They describe the key characteristics of HCPs and the typical behavior patterns of five main types of high-conflict personalities. Then they walk you through their proactive approach for minimizing conflict and keeping interactions with HCPs as peaceful as possible.

You’ll learn about—and see examples of—how to use a simple, proven four-step method to help calm HCPs, analyze your options, respond to hostility, and set limits on extreme behavior. While you cannot ultimately change someone else’s personality, you can adapt your own behavior and respond to the person in different ways that make things better at work for yourself, the high-conflict person, and your organization.

Georgi DiStefano

L. Georgi DiStefano, LCSW, is a licensed clinical social worker and multi award-winning with extensive experience in the clinical management of substance abuse/chemical dependency treatment programs and employee assistance services. She is an authority on workplace conflict resolution and co-author of books and New Ways for Work method of dealing with high-conflict workplace disputes.

She was the Executive/Clinical Director of the San Diego State University Center for Alcohol and Drug Studies and Services, Driving Under the Influence (DUI) Program. She previously managed the Employee Assistance Program (EAP) for Kaiser Permanente Hospital System in San Diego, California. Ms. DiStefano has been an adjunct assistant professor at San Diego State University in the School of Social Work, College of Health and Human Services.

Bill Eddy

Bill Eddy is an award-winning author, lawyer, therapist, mediator and the President of High Conflict Institute. He developed the "High Conflict Personality" theory (HCP Theory) and is an international expert on managing high-conflict disputes.

As an attorney, Bill is a Certified Family Law Specialist in California and the Senior Family Mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center in San Diego. Prior to becoming an attorney in 1992, he was a Licensed Clinical Social worker with twelve years’ experience providing therapy to children, adults, couples and families in psychiatric hospitals and outpatient clinics. He has taught at Monash University, University of Newcastle, the University of San Diego School of Law, the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at the Pepperdine University School of Law, and the National Judicial College.

Book Details

ISBN: 9781936268665

Languages: English

Format: Paperback

Category: Workplace Conflict, Psychology, Social Sciences

Publication Date: 03/02/2015

Pages: 244

Height: 8.5 inch

Width: 5.5 inch